Gracefully 30 Something

Each stage of your life is unique in its own way. Childhood is full of endless wonder and curiosity. Teen years are all about carelessness and freedom. The twenties are the introduction to adulthood. And thirties - thirties is when all the dust settles, and people have the confidence just to be themselves. Well, at least that's the poetic way of describing it... 

My Mammaw used to say she thought women were their most beautiful in their 30's. Not because youth isn’t beautiful, but because there’s something that begins to grow and bloom and shine behind their eyes. Something that makes them less afraid, more willing to be themselves in the world. Something bold and bright. Something true...

Somewhere, I hope she is saying that of me. That I grew that bloom in the last decade. That I began to shine from somewhere behind my eyes. Stopped fearing my questions, stopped hiding inside of orthodox safety nets in order to know I am here, in the world, and I deserve to be here. I can see some of that growth in these pictures, following that decade transformation trend. But I don’t post this to just join a hashtag movement or remind you that time is fleeting and look how much of your life can change. You know all of that already.

I went to therapy for the first time in my 30's... I admitted to myself the chronic trauma I’ve survived and began to acknowledge the deep work required to heal. I admitted my strength to myself, the creative genius child in me who saved my life and my heart. I suffered the loss of great, profound loves.

I became an aunt, ten times or more ( I've lost count... thanks Jennifer, Jenny, and Rocky.) I've published original poetry, mothered countless foster animals, fostered friendships over miles. And I've realized that there is absolutely NOTHING linear about the passing of measured time. It certainly wears on my face, my hair, sure. It will wear further still. . . .

This my hymn of grateful praise.